Mushroom Bowl: Season 1 Finale
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Match 12
Semifinals
Opponent Faction

Roy vs Bowser

Announcer: Bombette
Referee: Daisy

Bombette: It's that time again... It's Mushroom Bowl battle time! And already we've come to the last of the Semifinal matches!

SC: This season has really overstayed its welcome. Let's see if we can't get this over with quickly.

Bombette: And our referee for tonight, the princess of sports-equipment-pain, Princess Daisy!

Daisy: And you know it!

Two red pipes rise in the corners of the Mushroom Bowl pit.

Bombette: And now, the Opponent Faction contenders! In this corner, the master of the sky with a head as thick as the crust of the Earth, Roy Koopa!

Roy bursts from one of the red pipes, cracking it.

Roy: Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Roy is in the house! Ladies, get in line!

Bombette: Looks like Roy's feeling confident, but will that change when his opponent makes his entrance? Introducing, Mr. Video Game Villain himself, King Bowser Koopaaaaaaa!!

Bowser bursts from the other red pipe, obliterating it.

Bowser: Gwa ha ha ha! I fight last because that's what you save the best for!

SC: Great; the brainless match-up.

Bombette: Well, it really does seem to be a contest a brute force out there.

SC: And up here, it's a contest of seeing the ever-fluxing future. Sparkz, wanna see who's gonna get it next?

Sparkz: Rai raichu!

SC: Alrighty, here's our next prediction guy! (rolls die) SIX?!

Sparkz: (hearts in eyes) Raichu?!

The green pipe rises and out pops Amazee Dayzee.

Amazee: Hello, my adoring public! Tee hee~

Sparkz: Raichu... (thud)

SC: Oh show some dignity, you spineless mouse! You're supposed to be bowing to me!

Amazee: (petting Sparkz) Oh don't be such a sourpuss, SC. If he wants to grovel, let him~

Sparkz: (somehow... purring?!)

SC: You emotion-manipulating little... Gah! I don't need this after my break-up! You're here to predict, so predict! Roy or Bowser?

Amazee: Oh that's almost too easy, tee hee~ Bowser's such a big strong brute, there's no way Roy stands a chance! He's gonna get creamed~

Roy: Hey just so ya know, I hit girls!

Bowser: I taught you better than that! You're supposed to hit both! Unless it's your mother. In which case you're not supposed to hit her because she'll just tell me how bad a father I am, and I don't like it when she talks to me that way!

SC: Look, let's just get this done before the fanboyism of the room hits critical mass. Get to it!! (rings bell)

Daisy: (blows whistle)

Bowser: Roy, I am your father!

Roy: Oh gee how amazing, I only knew that my entire freakin' life!! Roy Tackle!

Bowser: Whirling Fortress!

WHIRR SLAM

Roy: Oof!

Bombette: Roy charged at Bowser, but Bowser spun in his shell and threw Roy to the floor!

Bowser: Bowser Stomp!

SLAM

Roy: GAK!!

Bombette: Oh, that's gotta hurt! Bowser just butt-bombed Roy! Could this be over already?!

Bowser: Gra ha! Too easy!

Roy: Oh... yeah...? Whirling Fortress...!

SPIIIIIIIIIIIN

Bowser: Graaaaaaaaaa!?

SLAM!

Bowser: Ow.

Bombette: Incredible! Roy spun in his shell and sent Bowser spinning headfirst into the wall! But wait! Bowser's getting up pretty quickly!

Bowser: There are times when I like having a hard head.

Roy: Roy Slash!

swipe

Bowser: ......Bowser Swipe!

SWIPE!!

Roy: Gaack!

Bombette: Roy tried to scratch Bowser, but his hard hide prevented him from taking damage, and Bowser countered with a similar move. Ooh, those cuts look nasty!

Bowser: Bowser Stomp!

SLAM

ROY: NOT AGAIN!!

Bombette: And yet another butt-slam from Bowser! And this time he's getting off quickly!

Bowser: Flamethrower!

FWOOOSH

Roy: GAH, IT BURNS!!

Bombette: Oh the Koopanity! Bowser is drowning Roy in his flame breath! And now he's... lifting him into the air?!

Bowser: I've had a rotten day, I have a rotten job, and I'm in a rotten mood! So I'm gonna end this rotten match right now! Bowser Toss!

THROW!!

ROY: WAUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!

CRASH!!!

Bombette: And there goes a well-broiled Roy, sailing clear out of the Mushroom Bowl!

Daisy: Ring out! Bowser wins!

Bowser: Gwa ha ha ha ha! And that's how you win pit battles!

Bombette: Congratulations, Bowser, you're our fourth Finalist! Do you want to be the announcer or referee for the Mushroom Division Final?

Bowser: Eh, I'll ref.

Bombette: ...um...

Bowser: Oh relax, no one likes seeing two idiots trying to hurt each other as much as me.

SC: Whadda know. Amazee actually got a prediction right! Who could've predicted that?

Amazee: I knew I would get right. Didn't you, Sparkz~ Tee hee~

Sparkz: ♥_♥ Raichu...

SC: Due, you're hitting "love trance" here! Snap out of it already!

Amazee: It's too late; he's mine now. And he'd love to move in with me and be my opening act before every one of my shows and be able to constantly adore me, now wouldn't he~

Sparkz: ♥_♥ Raichu...

SC: WHAT?! I will not stand for this! As leader of the Game Over, I will not allow you to Shanghai one of my officers!

Amazee: Oh Sparkzie-poo, he doesn't want us to be together. If you love me, you'd shock him so he can't stop us~

SC: Hold on! Sparkz won't shock me, it's against protocol-

Sparkz: Raiiiii... CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!

SC: BLARGIBLARGIBLARGIBLARGIBLARGIBLARGIBLARGIBLARGIBLARGIAAAAAAAAH!!

Bombette: SC!

Daisy: Oh dear!

Bowser: Even I thought that was low!

Amazee: Come, let's go home my little love pet~

Sparkz: ♥_♥ Raichu...

Bombette: ...Well?! Isn't someone gonna stop them?!

Bowser: You kidding? Electricity is one of the few things that can pierce this shell! I'm not getting within ten feet of that rodent!

Daisy: Same here!

Bombette: Oh when SC wakes up, he will be furious... Um, thanks for joining us here at the Mushroom Bowl. Next time you see us, if at all, will be the finals round. End transmission. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go assemble the troops.

This Game's Winner Is...

Bowser

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