RSS Add to Favorites
Return to Mushroom Bowl Return to Mt. Majesty Return to Smack Jeeves
Bombette: Welcome sports fans, to the final Quarterfinal match of the first ever Mushroom Bowl battle tournament!
SC: Finally! The end of the Quarterfinals! It's been at least two years since the first match!
Dicer: And who have we to blame for that?
SC: ...go ref or something.
Dicer: I'm not the referee today. Yoshi is.
Bombette: Yes, in fact, our referee for today is the dumb dino that can't talk to save his life, Yoshi!
Bombette: OW! EGG!
Two red pipes rise out of the corner of the Battle Pit.
Bombette: (shakes shells off) Anyways, here's the final Opponent Faction contestants! In this corner, the youngest Koopaling makes use of being the most overshadowed to tend to his plants and spy on the others, Larry Koopa!
Larry hops out of one of the red pipes.
Larry: I hope Roy isn't nearby. I'm tired of getting shocked. Anyways, I'll take anyboy on!
Bombette: Too bad he didn't say "within reason" (not that it'd save them), as his opponent is the biggest bad guy in the video gaming world, the original, the devestating, King Bowser Koopa!
The other red pipe simply explodes and Bowser is standing where the pipe was when the dust settles.
Bowser: Bwa ha ha ha ha! Lucky you I've decided to grace your pathetic tournament with my presence! But I've been waiting over two years since I signed up!
SC: Winter holiday's coming up, and I'll try to update as often as I can. For now, though, it's prediction guy time!
SC: Oh come on, like I'm going to get six three times in a row! (rolls die) There, see? A three.
The green pipe rises and Lord Crump is spit from it.
Lord Crump: Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh huh! I see it's time for Lord Crump's CRUMP-O-BOMB Predictions! Zvarri! And I predict SC's going to tell me to get in the electric chair!
SC: ...Get in the chair.
Lord Crump: Ha! I am right! YAH!
The Red Glove Grabbers strap him in.
SC: (rapping) No need to worry, 'cause you know the deal. (normal) Now, Larry or Bowser? Your regular electricity level depends on it.
Lord Crump: Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! That's so easy, even my awesome predicting skills aren't necessary! Bowser's the winner for sure! Zvarri!
SC: Stop saying that. Let's get this match underway! (rings bell)
Yoshi: Yoshi! (blows whistle)
Larry: Gotta act quick! Piranhas, come to me! (whistles)
Bombette: Three fairly large Piranha Plants have sprouted in front of Larry!
Larry: Attack, my beauties!
Bombette: The Piranha Plants are spitting fireballs at Bowser, but they don't seem to be doing anything!
Bowser: Bwa ha ha! Is that a breeze? You think I'm going to be stopped by those things? Let me show you a real Fireball!
BWA! BWA! BWA!
Bombette: Bowser has coughed up three fireballs and burned the Piranha Plants to the ground!
Larry: NO! I spent weeks growing these guys!
Bowser: Bowser Stomp! RAWR!
Bombette: And Bowser has done a ground pound and given Larry a good shake!
SC: (yawn) These battles are always so one sided, are they not? Roll the Random Event!
Bombette: The slots spin and we have... two, four, and four. For a sum of ten, so roll in the Chomps! Here they come down the aisles!
Chain Chomps: ARFARFARFARFARFARFARFARFARFARF!!
Larry: Oh you gotta be kidding me!
Bowser: Bwa ha ha! You think I'm scared of a little Chomp? I rode them all the time when I was kid! GAK! What the-?! A barbeque sauce-covered T-bone steak?
Yoshi: *angerly* Yoshi yoshi!
SC: Oh come on, I had to even the field. Everyone knows Chomps can't resist a good steak dinner with a side of Koopa!
Sparkz (laughing) Rai ai ai ai ai ai ai!
Bombette: And the Chomps drop into the pit!
Chain Chomps: ARF ARF ARF!!
Bowser: Bowser Stomp!
Chain Chomps: AAAAAaaaaarrrrrffff.....
Bombette: Amazing! Bowser's ground pound overturned and knocked the Chain Chomps out temporarily! And now he's... picking up the closest Chomp like it was a kickball?!
Bowser: Hey Larry! I think now's a good time for some father-son bonding! So let's play Catch! CATCH!! RWA!!
Larry: I don't wanna play! YIPE!!
Bombette: And Bowser has thrown the Chomp at Larry, and he barely manages to dodge by diving to the floor! And the big guy's picked up another one!
Bowser: Now now, son, that's now how you catch a ball! TRY AGAIN!! RWA!!
Larry: Let's get dangerous! I mean, sneaky! Hup!!
Bombette: Larry hops into the path of the flying Chomp and... disappears?! Isn't leaving the pit grounds for disqualification?
SC: Relax, my little pink friend. He's still in there.
Bombette: How can...? Oh, the Cell Shades! You're tracking him!
SC: Exactly. And he's still in pit boundries. The match is still on.
Bowser: (singsong) Oh Larry... Come out, come out wherever you are!
Bombette: Larry's still in play, but is nowhere in sight! And the Chomps are starting to recover and are righting themselves!
Chain Chomps: Arf... Arf arf... Arf arf arf...
Bowser: Alright, Larry, enough is enough! Come on out now or you'll getting the dungeon for a month! Three months!
Larry: If you say so! Telescope Slam!
Bombette: Larry suddenly sprung out from behind one of the Chomps with an extended telescope and slammed his father over the head with it!
Larry: Whirling Fortress!
*sound of drilling*
Bombette: Larry was still in the air after the telescope attack and now he's spinning his shell into Bowser's noggin! That has gotta hurt!
Bowser: Whirling Fortress!
Bombette: And Bowser has spun in his own shell and sent Larry flying into the wall!
Bowser: Bwa ha ha! You just can't koop the Koopa King- OW MY TAIL!
Chain Chomp: Arf arf!!
Bombette: One of the Chain Chomps bit Bowser's tail and he fell down!
SC: Since it's been a while since we had one, let's have us another Random Event!
Bombette: Even if there's no need, he'll still do them, folks! What will the slots say...? Four, three, and five, for a total of twelve! Now that I know we haven't had before.
SC: About time twelve came up, though. The pipes were starting to decay.
Bombette: Pipes decaying...? What's this? Openings in the pit walls are pouring out a strange green liquid-like substance! And... Pee-yeew! What's that's horrible smell?!
SC: A biting acid eating away at the pit floor. What else would it be?
Bombette, Bowser, Larry: ACID?!
Bombette: The Chain Chomp holding Bowser reeled in pain from being hit with the acid and released his tail, and he's quickly getting up as the acid begins to cover the floor!
Bowser: Time to make for higher ground! Hup!
Bowser: Hey, get offa my head!
Bombette: Larry leaped up onto Bowser's head to get away the acid as Bowser hopped up on the quickly-dying Chain Chomp!
Larry: Not nearly far enough! I'm outta here!
Bowser: Ow! That was my eye, you brat!
Bombette: And Larry has leaped and grabbed the edge of the Battle Pit and is pulling himself out from it.
Yoshi: Yoshi! Yosh yoshi!
SC: Quite so, quite so. Larry left the pit, so he loses by default. And one more second and... pop!
Larry: What?! There were going to be platforms?!
SC: Better believe it mon. Guards! Drain the field, see what the infirmery can do about those Chomps, and get me some salami! I'm hungry!
Larry: No way! No bleepin' way! I was scammed, I tell you! Scammed!!
Bombette: I now join Bowser as he's airlifted out of the Battle Pit. Tell me, sir King Koopa, do you want to be the announcer or referee for the first semifinal match?
Bowser: You! You're the stupid regenerating Bob-omb that blew up my castle!!
Bombette: Ref it is.
Bowser: No! I want to announce! That way I won't have to be in the same room as you during the next fight!
Bombette: I dunno...
Bowser: C'mon! I promise I won't bust up your little organization thing.
Bombette: SC, what do you think?
SC: Let him announce. We could use another perspective after so long.
Lord Crump: Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! I am right once again!
Bombette: And that's all for the quarterfinals of the Mushroom Bowl battle tournament. Good night whoever's-watching and end transmission!
Lord Crump: Zvarri!
SC: I told you to stop saying that.
This Game's Winner Is...