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Return to Mushroom Bowl Return to Mt. Majesty Return to Smack Jeeves
Lemmy: Welcome to the Mushroom Bowl tournament for what promises to be a fight hosted by one of my worst enemies.
sc276: Oh chill. I'm after other targets these days. I'll come back after I finished taking over the Archie Sonic world and turning all the cute girls into Panchico. And I mean in personality. There's such a thing as too many Birdos.
Two blue pipes appear in opposite corners of the Battle Pit.
Lemmy: Yeah, whatever. Anyways, in this corner, the big ape with a banana craze bigger then his brain, Donkey Kong!
DK bursts from the pipe and lands on the floor of the pit.
DK: *pounds his chest and yells like Tarzan*
Lemmy: And in the other corner, a tomboy princess so pathetic she doesn't even have a decent voice, Daisy Toadstool!
Daisy pops out of the other pipe and backflips into the floor.
Daisy: *while doing karate poses* Hi-YA!
Dicer: Whoa. Looks like its agility verses brute force down there.
Lemmy: Well it's obviously not a battle of wits.
sc276: Another crack like that and I'm bringing Bombette back out. *rolls prediction die* Our prediction is by guy 6, who is none other then Al Gore!
Al emerges from the green pipe.
Doopliss: Al Gore? Can you say "overused?"
Al Gore: I invented overusing!
Doopliss: Not to mention annoying?
sc276: First of all, why are you hanging around?
Doopliss: What, you didn't notice the wheelchair? I can't get up the dang steps out of the Bowl!
sc276: Oh chill.
Doopliss: A Raichu?
Al Gore: I invented Raichus!
Doopliss: What's a Raichu doing here?
sc276: It's the Pikachu. He evolved using a Thunder Stone from my collection. I let him because not only does he have double the volts as before, but because Raichus are cooler then Pikachus.
sc276: See? He agrees!
Al Gore: I invented agreeing!
sc276: Which reminds me, Al's on the dice for just this one time. Whether he's wrong or right, I'm going to shock his brains out. Or rather, Sparkz is going to shock his brains out.
Doopliss: Who's- oh, the Raichu is named Sparkz, isn't it?
sc276: Well, what do you know? You can still think even though your brain has has been exposed to three different semi-lethal electric blasts. You're hardy. I like that.
Al Gore: I invented liking!
sc276: Which reminds me again. *presses button on remote and Red Glove Grabbers strap Al Gore to the electric chair* *goes to Al* You're going to get shocked anyways, but that still shouldn't affect your choice. DK or Daisy?
Al Gore: I invented Daisy!
sc276: I'll take it you predicted Daisy. Now to make sure you don't interrupt the fight... *takes out a roll of duct tape*
Al Gore: I invented du-mmmp mmmmmmp!
sc276: Sorry, man, I can't break that rule. You have to wait until the end of the match.
sc276: So let's get the dang thing over already! *rings bell*
Dicer: *blows whistle*
DK: *Tarzan yell*
Lemmy: And the flea-ridden ape starts the battle by rushing toward the tomboy.
Daisy: Racket Swing!
Lemmy: The yellow girl counters with a dash forward and a tennis racket to the monkey's noggin, sending him flying.
sc276: Y'know, eventually, you're going to run out of names for them.
Lemmy: We'll see about that.
DK: Ooo ooo OOO!
Lemmy: The monkey has started slapping the ground repeately, shaking the pit floor.
Daisy: Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoa... Club Swing!
DK: *that monkey yelling sound that I don't know how to spell*
Lemmy: Daisy counters by knocking DK over the head with a golf club. How original.
sc276: Wait, she still has the club out.
Daisy: Vertical Slash! Horizontal Slash! Vertical Slash!
Lemmy: Oh my DAD she's swinging that golf club like a Keyblade!
Dicer: Some chap's been watching too many Kingdom Hearts 2 videos online recently.
Al Gore: Mmm mmm-mmm mmm mm mmmmmmmm mmm! (I invented Kingdom Hearts 2!)
sc276: Look, my brother was the one who let me see the videos over his shoulder on YouTube. Besides, it's that or she's been doing some serious training. Might make things more interesting. Now watch already.
Lemmy: The monkey's going to have to come up with quick thinking if he can. There's no telling how much into the Disney-Square combo Daisy's gone.
DK: Ooo ooo!
Lemmy: The ape's started using Spinning Kong and is flying towards Daisy.
Lemmy: Daisy's blocking with the Keyblade- I mean, Keyclub- I mean golfblade- I mean-
sc276: Yeah we know what you mean.
Lemmy: But DK's not letting up. He's still applying pressure. And... Daisy busts! DK breaks through, and the tomboy is flung into the pit wall.
sc276: And now, just for the hell of it, random event, GO!
Lemmy: The slots result is 4.. 5... 4. Which is 13. And the mirrors have already started falling.
Daisy: Overhead Slash! Overhead Slash!
DK: Ooo! Ooo! Ooo!
Lemmy: Daisy's swining the club over her head to keep the mirrors from hitting her while the monkey destroys them with punches.
DK: *monkey yell*
Lemmy: What's this? DK has grabbed a mirror out of midair and thrown it at Daisy.
Lemmy: The tomboy counters, shattering it.
DK: *more monkey yells*
Lemmy: Using that pipsqueak brain of his, the monkey has found a spot with minimal mirror raining on it and started throwing more mirrors at Daisy and even one at- ACK!
sc276: That just goes to show the old saying: don't insult a gorilla because he might throw a wall mirror at you.
Sparkz: Rai rai rai rai rai rai rai!
Lemmy: Stop laughing at me! Anyways, the tomboy's having a tough time countering both the falling mirrors and the ones DK is throwing. At least the storm is starting to thin.
sc276: Great. Now I have to go and get new mirrors.
Daisy: I think I'm going to need some backup. *catcall*
Lemmy: Daisy's whistle has risen the blue Warp Pipe and... four Snifits have popped out of it. Obviously from the Sarassaland troops. They form a semi-circle around their leader.
Lemmy: The Snifits are now spitting paintballs at the monkey, who's running out of mirrors.
DK: Hup! Hup! Hup!
Lemmy: The ape is using a large clap to create a short-range pulse to block the paintballs, but several are still getting through.
DK: Ooo ooo!
Lemmy: And the monkey has drawn a Coconut Launcher. It seems to work, though, as he's firing at the coconuts at the paintballs fast enough to get through to the Snifits and send them flying. And now that that's done, he's firing at Daisy.
Daisy: Guard! Guard! Guard! Guard! Guard!
Lemmy: It looks like the ape has unlimited ammo on, because he's not letting up, and Daisy's still countering strongly.
sc276: Two words: duh-ULL! RANDOM EVENT SLOTS, GO!
Lemmy: And tonight's winning lottery numbers are... 2, 1, 2. Which is 5. I don't think 5 has come up before- holy guacamole, the pit's flooding!
Daisy: What the?!
DK: *monkey yells*
Lemmy: Water has started pouring from the walls and started filling the battle pit. Platforms are popping out of the walls, and both combatants are climbing on. Now they're level with the top of the pit.
sc276: They oughta be careful. One foot out the pit's rim and it's disqual time.
Lemmy: The water has reached it's peak, just below the higher platforms, and both contestants are facing off.
Lemmy: The fleabag has resumed fire with the Coconut Shooter.
Daisy: Guard! Guard!
Lemmy: The tomboy has started countering again.
Daisy: Retalliating Smash!
Lemmy: Daisy has slammed a cococut at the monkey with the force of a bullet and it HITS! The ape is now teetering on the edge of the arena... If he falls backwards, he'll come out of the ring!
DK: Ooooo... ooooo... ooooooo... ooo! *Tarzan yell*
Lemmy: And the monkey has regained his balance and stayed in the ring! And now he's prepping up a Giant Punch, but Daisy's too far away to get hit by it.
Daisy: Strike Raid!
Lemmy: Daisy throws the golf club at the monkey, but he finishes charging the Giant Punch just in time to use a Spinning Kong to counter it.
DK: *Tarzan yell*
Lemmy: The club still comes boomeranging back and Daisy takes it just as DK uses another Spinning Kong move to cross the pit and land on the platform next to Daisy.
Lemmy: The Giant Punch connects and sends Daisy flying toward the wall of the Mushroom Bowl!
sc276: Oh that better not hit since it's a pain to fix that wall.
Daisy: Retalliating Smash!
Lemmy: Unbelieveable! Daisy has smacked the wall with the golf club and used the equal and opposite reaction to reverse her direction and send her flying back into the pit! And, I just can't believe what I'm seeing, she's pulled out a yellow baseball bat in her other hand!
Daisy: Sonic Blade!
DK: *monkey screams*
Lemmy: Oh, Donkey Kong is freaked out! He jumps to another platform in an attempt to get away, but Daisy streaks by and slams the big guy with both of her pieces of sports gear!
sc276: Why does everyone use sports stuff as weapons?
Dicer: Maybe for the same reason Daisy fights with a golf club as a Keyblade?
sc276: This is absolutely no sports equipment in any KH game that I know of.
Dicer: That's not what I-
sc276: Shut up and ref, man.
Lemmy: The force of the attack has sent DK spinning into the water like a torpedo! He's lucky he's one of the few gorillas that can swim!
DK: *surfaces* *monkey yells*
Lemmy: He surfaces and climbs back onto another platform.
Daisy: Double Strike Raid!
DK: *monkey yell*
Lemmy: And what a finish as Daisy throws both the baseball bat and the golf club at DK and they knock him head-over-heals and out of the ring!
Dicer: Ring out! Daisy is the winner!
sc276: Drain the field!
Lemmy: *gets out of announcer's booth* Congrats, little-known princess. From what I've come to understand, you can either announce or ref for the next match between two of my brothers.
Daisy: I need a rest. I'll ref.
sc276: And now for the main attraction: Shock the Human Idiot! *rips duct tape off of Al Gore*
Al Gore: Yes! For once, I got it right! ... I mean, I invented the phrase "please don't shock me!"
sc276: ......... Take 'im to town, Sparkz.
Sparkz: Raaaaaaaaaaai... CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
Al Gore: Blahgiblahgiblahgiblahgiblahgiblahgiblahgiblahgiblahgi....
sc276: That's all for now, and be sure to tune in for the next extreme Mushroom Bowl battle!
Al Gore: ...blahgiblahgiblahgiblahgiblahgiAAAAAAAAAH!! End transmission...
This Game's Winner Is...