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Bombette: Welcome back to the second Final round of the Mushroom Bowl battle tournament! Our referee for tonight is the Boomerang Bro. from Britain, Dicer!
Dicer: Pip-pip and tally-ho, gents! Let's keep it clean!
Bombette: Sadly, our host, SC, is still out looking for Amazee and Sparkz, and due to various reasons we don't know if he's even still alive. Although I'd wager he is, given one of the many creeds he lives by is "die very very hard." In his continued absence, the fire-breathing leader of the Game Over's Mushroomian forces, 666 the Fire Bro., will substitute.
666: Ten-hut! Contestants, report to the battle arena, ten-four!
Two red pipes rise in opposite corners of the wrestling-ring-like Battle Arena.
Bombette: Which two turtles have the title of Opponent Faction Champion a Koopa shell's throw away? On one side, the prince who sates his subjects with ice and circuses, the surprisingly chilling Lemmy Koopa!
Lemmy emerges from one of the red pipes.
Lemmy: Feelin' ice now, baby! Ha ha!
Bombette: And on the other side, a brute with the sheer strength and willpower to survive being hurtled into the center of the universe, the fiery-tempered King Bowser!
Bowser bursts from his pipe in an explosion, like all the other times.
Bowser: Let's not mince words! It's pounding time!
666: Attention, troops! Now rolling prediction die! *rolls die* We have a 5!
A green pipe rises in front of the announcer's booth.
Bombette: And according to this list here, a 5 on the prediction die means that our predictor is... a Bumpty.
A Bumpty (small penguin-like creature) emerges from the green pipe.
Bumpty: ...Hey, I'm on TV! Hi, Ma!
The Red Glove Grabbers strap the Bumpty to the electric chair.
666: Time for you to talk, private! Who would win in hand-to-hand combat, Lemmy or Bowser?! Speak!
Bumpty: Hey hey hey, chill out, man! What's the deal with the questions? Sure, Bowser would probably win, but what does that have to do with anything?
666: The private chose Bowser, major!
Bumpty: Hey wait, what?
Bombette: Alright then, we have the contestants, we have the prediction, so if you would please start us off, sir?
Bumpty: Will someone tell me what's going on?!
666: Contestants, ready! Preseeeeeeent... arms! *rings bell*
Dicer: *blows whistle*
Lemmy: Whoop! Missed me! Snowball!
Bombette: Talk about accurate countering. Bowser melted the snowball by hitting it with a fireball!
Bowser: Sliding Punch!
Lemmy: IT BURNS! OH DAD IT BURNS!!
Bombette: Lemmy dodged Bowser's moving punch only to immediately get hit by Bowser's fire breath!
Lemmy: Bouncy Balls!
Lemmy: ...Oh yeah, this isn't a pit anymore...
Bowser: Sliding Punch!
Lemmy: OW THE PAIN!
Bombette: Lemmy released small bouncing balls from his wand, but they bounced out of the ring, allowing Bowser to hit him while he was distracted!
666: I say enough is enough! Activate Random Event!
Bombette: And the results are... five, two, and one! That adds up to eight, meaning...
Bowser: Ow! What the- Question Blocks?
Bombette: Three of 'em!
Lemmy: Alright, let's see what I get!
Lemmy: ...Is this some sort of joke! I am not wearing a penguin suit!
Bowser: Ah ha! A Fire Flower! Down the hatch!
Bowser: ...WHOOOOOOO!! I can feel it! I can feel it burning with victory!
Bombette: Bowser just ate the Fire Flower he got from one of the blocks! Lord knows what that'll due to his firepower!
Bombette: ...And he throws the brown block at Lemmy.
Lemmy: I call for a mistrial, er misbattle! This is completely unfair!
666: Gonna keep whinin', private?! Then how's about I just go and even the odds for ya!
Bowser: Ow! Who keeps throwing these steaks at me?!
666: That was what the boss did when he wanted to even the playing field last time, major.
Bombette: But ravenous Chain Chomps were being poured into the pit. That justified it.
Lemmy: Ice Ball!
Bowser: Ow! That hurt!
Bombette: Huh? Oh, Lemmy made use of the distraction my superior and I made by arguing.
Bowser: Grr! Let's heat things up! Super Flamethrower!
Lemmy: Ice Beam!
Bombette: They're really putting the pressure on each other, folks! Fire and ice flying! If either one of them falters, it's really gonna hurt!
Bumpty: I still don't know what the hell's going on!
Bombette: What an upset! Lemmy threw a snowball at Bowser's head, cutting off Bowser's fire breath and causing the King Koopa to freeze solid!
Lemmy: Now, before he breaks out! Ice Pillar!
Bombette: Lemmy stuck his wand in the ground and... whoa! A giant pillar of ice burst from beneath Bowser and launched him up... up... now he's coming down... down... right into the-
Dicer: That's a ring out if I ever saw one! Lemmy wins!
Bombette: Who ever thought that Lemmy would ever be the underdog? Nevertheless, by defeating his father, he has become the Opponent Faction Champion and will take on Waluigi in next time's Grand Championship battle! Until then, this is Bombette, signing off! End trans-
Bumpty: Sweet stars, it burns!!
Bowser: (dizzy) Anyone get the license number of that Fawful Express...? Oooooogh...
Meanwhile, in a world not quite outside of yonder...
SC: (looks up a large fancy apartment building) Finally. After much much trekkin', I've tracked you down, Amazee. Watch yourself, 'cause I'm comin' for ya... and I'm taking Sparkz back with me!
This Game's Winner Is...